Stillness of Mind

"Death sat on the old chair we kept out on the porch. Set in front of him was a small and simple chess board. As the shivering air whistled, he beckoned to play a short game." - Working title (Hakop Oganasyan)

 (The Seventh Seal dir. by Ingmar Bergman)

The world keeps spinning and I sit here motionless. My life has changed so much in such a short time. It's crazy to think anyone would be reading this blog anymore since it's been so long since I posted. But my laptop decided that "hey you know what fuck Hakop let me just stop working. And better yet let me make sure he won't be able to get any of his data back." Luckily, mostly because of my brother-in-laws awesomeness not only did I get al my work saved, my laptop is finally up and running again. But anyways back to talking about how much life can change in a snap of a finger.

(A parody of The Seventh Seal in Woody Allen's film Love and Death)

I have always been slightly obsessed with the ephemerality of life. Nothing drives this obsession more the perpetual mood swings. But as of late things have seem to slow down. Life seems to have gotten in a way real. And as scary as it sounds, I'm okay with this change. I went from writing an Ingmar Bergman Seventh Seal inspired short story, to writing poetry about love. And yeah yeah yeah you know I've always written about love. But instead of it being the usual failed, unreciprocated, emotionless (yes love can be emotionless just ask me about it) love, my poems are sorta kinda about the real thing. Only time will tell, but for now it feels nice.

(Large Kiss - Andy Warhol)

"Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it." - Letters To A Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke


You asked me "how was life before this okay?"


Here is a poem I wrote on my phone (Drunk) on August 31st:

My skin crawls
with beads of sweat.
Lights flicker,
the room crowded with
Smoke, scents,
Polluted with sound.
My eyes focused on yours.
Your beautiful eyes.
You smile.
a smile that takes me back
To life before death.
I smile back,
Unconsciously agreeing
with whatever it is you feel.
I feel your lips against mine
your nails on my back.
The scent vanishes
The sound falls onto deaf ears
I close my eyes.
Im in love with you.


And the customary song: A song that has nothing to do with ANYTHING in this blog post at all but just a fucking damn good song I've been listening to a whole lot recently. Oh and Brownie Points if you can guess where the title of the Post is from!